9 14 27 34 TIME NASHUNAL CHAMPEENS, PAWWLLLL. ROLL TAHDE
Though inarguably one of the most successful teams in college football history, Alabama fans have inflated their team's success like the fans' waistlines at an Old Country Buffet by claiming to the world that they have 14 National Championships instead of the more universally recognized 9. The inflation is due to adding retroactive championships dating before the AP and Coaches (formerly UPI) polls became the primary criteria for determining a national championship.
If you should encounter an Alabama fan in the wild, do not make eye contact or question them about the number 14. Natural reactions from an Alabama fan include: "Haterz," "1966 was some bullshit," and "Well we still have more than you." If you are in an area where you cannot avoid being attacked in this manner, your best defense is to carry a summary of the 1941 season at all times. A good counter is to remind them that Princeton has more national championships than Bama. They may think you are inventing a university.